callese:

refseek.com

www.worldcat.org/

link.springer.com

http://bioline.org.br/

repec.org

science.gov

pdfdrive.com

(via victim4life)

femsband-archive:

Structural Dissociation - (C-)PTSD, BPD, and Dissociative Disorders as a Spectrum

WARNING: This post lists examples of traumatic events and SH/suicide; while it’s not in-depth, if you have trauma that triggers you even when only mentioned, please tread carefully.

What do PTSD, C-PTSD, BPD, and OSDD have in common? Well, a hell of a lot, but this post will touch on how they all fit into the structural dissociation model, which essentially puts dissociation on a spectrum. While the model isn’t perfect, it’s a commonly accepted psychological theory among those who study dissociation. Learn about it under the cut!

(Reblogs are encouraged- help spread mental illness awareness and information!)

Keep reading

femsband-archive:

DID vs. OSDD: What’s the Difference, and Why Does It Matter?

Depending on which circles this post ends up in, many people who are reading this will know of Dissociative Identity Disorder, or DID. (If not, don’t worry, there will be a brief overview in a little bit!) However, lesser known to the layman is Otherwise Specified Dissociative Disorder (OSDD), a catch-all for dissociative disorders that don’t fit under any other named dissociative disorder. There are four types of OSDD, but I’ll be focusing on type 1 here. Read beneath the cut for in-depth info, sources, and some personal thoughts!

(Regardless of whether or not you have a dissociative disorder, I’d encourage you to reblog! Mental health awareness and education are crucial.)

Keep reading

many-but-one:

Had a few people say that they found this tiktok that I made to be a pretty good representation of what inner communication sounds like as a DID system. I’ve seen people do this on tiktok before and they usually make it seem very schizophrenia-like or more along the lines of psychosis. I have experienced a psychotic break, and the difference between DID and psychosis is pretty big to me. So I made my own.

Please do not judge my poor audio editing skills😂 I was trying to make voices pitches different to make it obvious these were different people talking, as if the colored commentary wasn’t enough😂

Shockingly (/j) I have been shadowbanned on tiktok, I’m assuming because of saying the word “fuck” and “shit” out loud🙄 If you want to support this video on that platform, feel free to click here and like or comment.

There’s nothing severely triggering discussed here, but know that this is going to have overlapping voices, some of which talk briefly about being worried that the abusers will find us, and another makes a slight crying sound. Other than that, I tried to make this a seemingly standard conversation that we’d have.

For those wondering who is talking— Jules is purple, James is pale green, Brett is teal, Alice is yellow-green, Valentine is the darker red color in the middle, and Foster is the red color with the deep voice at the end. Scattered about are also some trauma holding child parts, a non-traumatized child part, and a persecutor.

Hope you like. :) I will probably make more of these mundane conversation style videos because I feel like people don’t realize how honestly boring most of our convos are. Things get chaotic, sure, and things get silent too. It’s not always an action packed extravaganza in there😂 Plus this was kinda fun and passed the time while waiting for my wife to get out of work. If anyone has topics they think would be cool to include in a conversation video, I’d love to hear it!

Enjoy!

-Jules

attainablerecovery:

Free Trauma and Dissociation Books

This is the link to Google Drive folder containing these books. There is a list below of what is in the folder. Please consider reblogging so these resources are available.

Disclaimer: I have not read all of these to completion. I have not researched all the authors. Please do your own research if you have concerns.

• Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents by Lindsay C. Gibson
• The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk MD
• Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving by Pete Walker (edit: ableist views expressed about cluster Bs)
• Complex PTSD Recovery Workbook by Kimberly Callis
• Complex PTSD Workbook by Arielle Schwartz
• Coping with Trauma-Related Dissociation by Suzette Boon, Kathy Steele, Onno van der Hart
• EMDR Toolbox: Theory and Treatment of Complex PTSD and Dissociation by James Knipe
• Emotional Incest Syndrome: What to Do When a Parent’s Love Rules Your Life by Patricia Love, Jo Robinson
• Got Parts? An Insider’s Guide to Managing Life Successfully with Dissociative Identity Disorder by ATW
• The Haunted Self by Onno Hart
• Healing the Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivors: Overcoming Internal Self Alienation by Janina Fisher
• In an Unspoken Voice How the Body Releases Trauma and Restores Goodness by Peter A. Levine
• Life After Trauma: A Workbook for Healing by Dena Rosenbloom, Mary Beth Williams, Barbara E. Watkins
• Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder Sourcebook: A Guide to Healing, Recovery, and Growth by Glenn R. Schiraldi
• The PTSD Workbook: Simple, Effective Techniques for Overcoming Traumatic Stress Symptoms by Mary Beth Williams, Soili Poijula
• Rebuilding Shattered Lives: Treating Complex PTSD and Dissociative Disorders by James A. Chu
• Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect by Jonice Webb, Christine Musello
• Stoning Demons Book 1: Childhood Trauma is a Primer for Complex PTSD by Kimberly Callis
• Stoning Demons Book 3: Physical Health and Complex PTSD by Kimberly Callis
• The Stranger in the Mirror by Marlene Steinberg
• Toxic Parents by Susan Forward, Craig Buck
• Trauma and Recovery by Judith L. Herman
• Trauma and the Body: A Sensorimotor Approach to Psychotherapy by Pat Ogden
• Waking the Tiger Healing Trauma by Peter A. Levine

(via bunnidid-reviews)

bunnidid-reviews:

I wanted to recommend a picture book. Its not about DID, but rather emotions and suppressing them. Its called Out Of A Jar by Deborah Marcero

In it, our main character is suppressing their emotions one by one and storing them in jars. I found it very relatable that their motivation tended to be fear and shame, which are two things those of us who have trauma are very familiar with. The flat nothingness the character felt down be related to dissociation a bit

I don’t want to imply that this is a book with DID, but Its very relatable and applicable to how I approach having parts; by letting them Just Be.

I also really liked the art in this one too :)

Would you like to see me make more picture book recommendations if I find more that give me DID vibes?

Waking Madison Review

bunnidid-reviews:

DID Movie Review

Facts -

Movie name: Waking Madison

Date of Release: 2010

Fiction or Nonfiction: Fiction

Was there a diagnosis of DID? Not explicitly; ‘Possible MPD’ is noted on doctor papers

Was the person with DID presented as evil for having DID? No

Major Trigger warning list:

-          Attempted Suicide and threats of suicide

-          Self harm

-          Abuse in the name of Christianity

-          Hospital and mental ward scenes

-          Blood

-          Screaming, pleading

-          Flashing and blurred images

-          Verbal abuse (Guilting, insulting, threatening, possible gaslighting)

-          Physical abuse implied but not explicitly shown

-          Attempted drowning

-          Sex scenes (one of which turns nonconsensual after a switch)

-          Implied child sexual abuse but not explicitly shown

-          Drug use, smoking

-          Bondage in a hospital setting sort-of way

-          (If there are more, please let me know)

Subjective Review(this is how I felt about it) -

Personal triggering scale from 1 to 10 (1 being not triggering at all, 10 being a badly overwhelming experience that might cause personal harm): Possibly a 6 to a 7 at most?

Personal relatability scale from 1 to 10 (1 being unrelatable, 10 being OMG THAT’S ME!): 7 or 8 (some parts really resonated with me)

Personal avoidance scale from 1 to 10(1 being eager to get on with it, 10 being impossible to finish): 5

My interpretation of the media(Includes spoilers): To start off with, I was prepared for it to be a much more triggering movie than it turned out to be. Compared to other media that’s shown explicit abuse scenes, I was thankful that Waking Madison seems to cut off just before in most cases or leaves it as words in the other alters’ mouth. Or in many cases they don’t even say, but it’s heavily implied and obvious. The suicide attempts, although we see the aftermath(cleaning up blood, being bandaged), we don’t see her cuts or bleeding (save for one scene later on that’s quickly cut off)

The story broken down goes like this: Madison is a woman with DID. She’s had many suicide attempts she doesn’t seem to remember and mysterious hospital visits in her life. No friends, no job, living in a shotty area of town. She’s decided to lock herself in her apartment for 30 days until she finds out the root of what’s wrong with her.

The ‘side plot’ is about a therapist(Dr. Elizabteh)  who’s working in a small mental ward with three other patients, all survivors of child abuse. As the movie goes on and Madison herself shows up in the ward, it becomes increasingly more obvious that all the patients are actually different alters/parts of Madison and this mental facility is her inner world.

In a heart-wrenching twist in the end, we find out that Dr. Elizabeth is actually one of the parts too – a child’s version of an adult to save them all, the illusive Helper.

Waking Madison is a confusing movie. Even coming from the already spoiler-ed point of view of knowing the whole twist was that she had DID and picking up on typical DID cinematography tropes(like the use of mirrors), some points of this movie still caught me off-guard and a bit befuddled. I think it’d be worth a rewatch with the full perspective of knowing the story and seeing if it’s more cohesive than I thought. Mild confusions aside, it really seems like a movie that’s made less as a horror trope and more from a very personal understanding of DID and trauma and the separation and truths about alters being parts of one whole. It’s what I wish Sybil was, I think.

Actually, I might go out on a limb and say that the confusion of the movie is almost purposeful. What is the time? What does it mean to be real? Is any of this real? All these were prominent themes in the movie. A very good representation of what it’s like to live through dissociative fugues.

The characters are written like real parts in the way that they interact. Nondescript positions of where eachother stands socially with one another that feels extremely true to my own dissociative parts experience. An obvious persecutor part that holds a lot of hurt and has a way of getting in the other’s heads in the way persecutory parts tend to. The age-sliding young part felt very real to me. A sexual protector who makes herself seem bigger and older than she actually is(like stating the abuse happened at 16, when she was really 13) The therapist part who, when broken down, was really a traumatized child all along.

If you’ve seen the last few(?) episodes of Moon Knight, this whole movie is basically the whole inner world scene there, but uncondensed.

What they got Right in my opinion:

-          The relationships and strains between parts felt very very real to me, even if the conflict was triggering at times.

-          The portrayal of confusing lost time. The obsession over what is real and what isn’t. The obsession with wanting to become real all hit home for me.

-          The switches weren’t dramatized with shitty horror music from what I remember(I don’t pay much attention to the score but it’s a trope that grates on me and I would’ve noticed)

-          Madison used warmth from the candles and hot candle wax to ground! (I hardly ever see grounding in DID media!)

-          The use of notebooks and video recordings as a means of communication. The communication between parts being a step in healing

-          Parts being seemingly simple stereotypes, as if they were a traumatized child’s idea of what the world should look like. 

What they got Wrong in my opinion:

-          The abusive mother was implied to be mentally ill in a nondescript way. While I know this is true in many abuse cases, there comes a very slippery slope when it comes to depicting that in media and should be approached with caution

-          The whole ‘nobody actually matters but the Host’ trope. Disappointingly disregarding the other parts into integration is dated

-          Seemingly hallucinating other parts to actually be seen there. I don’t know If this is something that other people experience, but it’s not something I’ve heard about being a DID symptom

-          The paper at the beginning stating her possible diagnosis to be ‘MPD’ (This is just a nitpick more than anything, because there are people who were diagnosed much earlier who still identify with MPD)

Would I recommend this to someone with DID to watch?: If you regard the triggers listed above, then yes, actually! I think there’s a lot of relatable DID content in this, like it wasn’t just made to be an interesting side accessory or horror show for someone without DID.

bunnidid-reviews:

DID TV Series Review

Facts -

Series name: United States of Tara

Run time: 2009 - 2011

Fiction or Nonfiction: Fiction

Was there a diagnosis of DID? Yes, it’s mentioned several points throughout the show that Tara was diagnosed sometime before the show takes place

Was the person with DID presented as evil for having DID? No

Major Trigger warning list:

-          Suicide mentions and self harm, and a suicide attempt

-          Drug use, smoking, alcohol

-          Sexual scenes, exploration of teenage sexuality, underage sex/fetish work(nomexplicit but pretty gross)

-          Mentions of varios kinds of abuse, mostly sexual abuse

-          Grooming and stalking

-          Minor violent scenes

-          Emotional abuse, neglect from mentally ill parents

-          drowning

-          Ableism

-          Homophobia

-          General dark humor?

-          Some pretty explicit language and swearing

-          (If there are more trigger, please let me know!)

  Subjective Review(this is how I felt about it) -

Personal triggering scale from 1 to 10 (1 being not triggering at all, 10 being a badly overwhelming experience that might cause personal harm): Maybe a 4?

Personal relatability scale from 1 to 10 (1 being unrelatable, 10 being OMG THAT’S ME!): 8

Personal avoidance scale from 1 to 10(1 being eager to get on with it, 10 being impossible to finish): 2, last season is a strong 9(I don’t usually push thru it)

My interpretation of the media(Includes spoilers):

United States of Tara is the trashy DID show and I actually unapologetically love it. If you take it from the perspective that this is a dark comedy with a lot of drama thrown in, I think it’s actually very fun to watch so long as you keep the triggers listed in mind. I know it’s known to be the ~super stigmatizing show~, and maybe it is in some ways we’ll discuss in a moment, but I’m asking you to see it from this perspective: literally everyone in the show sucks. Even the minor characters have some shitty qualities to them, so Tara doesn’t hugely stand out as being evil for having DID. She just happens to have many shitty qualities and her parts reflect that, honestly.

A basic summary: Tara, a mother of two teenagers, struggles through daily life both in normal parent-y ways and in having Dissociative Identity disorder and the effects it has on the people around her. Her husband believes he can fix her. Her son is struggling with discovering his sexuality and complicated attachment, her daughter wants to grow up too quickly and chase after her romanticized dreams. Her sister can’t seem to figure out how to grow up, struggling with her own repressed trauma.

It’s a three-season series so I can’t talk too extensively about each episode, so I’ll try to summarize it up by season, mostly focusing on Tara

Season 1 thoughts: On the surface level, right away, it seems like Tara’s alters are used as a gimmick or an excuse. In many ways they are. Heavily stereotyped and a bit ridiculous and as if they don’t have the entire self in mind when they act out. But to me it makes some sense because the amnesiac walls are obviously very high for these alters and they all have opposing views on how they want to live their life. By the people around her, they’re seen as a hassle, a burden, and something everyone wants to get rid of. No one is asking ‘why are you here’(well they are, annoyedly), they’re more asking ‘When are you leaving already?’ The saving grace from this season is probably the proof that suppressing Alters is not how you help them heal, and the therapist makes that very clear as well. The show writers knew what they were doing, I think.

There’s some interesting points of accuracy to my own dissociative experience even in season 1. Buck is ridiculous, but he’s protective in his own right. He has a reason for being the way he is. It especially resonated with me when Tara and Max were setting up to make love, and when Tara lost her nerve, Buck was there to take her place in a protective way.

We see substitute beliefs portrayed in Alice’s episode about wanting to have a baby and believing It to be true. Even the therapist points out what this means and again, Max isn’t listening but the show writers understood what they were doing here.

We see Tara telling people about how DID works time and time again. She has a very up-to-date understanding of her disorder and explains her experiences in such a way that it punches me with accuracy to my own feelings.

What I don’t like about season 1 is all throughout, the characters around her act as if Tara’s disorder isn’t just a burden, but a sacrifice to live around. I think in some part this is due to, yknow.. all the characters being shit. But in the last couple episodes of Season 1, in a DID-specializing psyche ward, the goal of many patients is to fully integrate their alters in a way of ‘getting rid of them’, as if they’re a burden to deal with across the board. I’m warning you on this because while I love United States of Tara, this mindset really snakes its way into my own and plays up a lot of my insecurities about being a burden, especially to my fiancé. : (

Season 2 thoughts:  I believe this season boots off after the confrontation with a past abuser and finding..Deeper truths are still stubbornly hidden. Tara gives up and suppresses the Alters once more. Obviously this doesn’t work, though it is seen as ‘everything’s moving smoothly now that I’m pretending the problem doesn’t exist’. It doesn’t last for very long of course.

I like Season 2 a lot. This is the season that Tara and her sister Charmaine are finally coming together to find out the truth and try to heal together. The way the writers handled the weird sisterly bond of growing up in trauma together with both fierce protection and resentment is.. Extremely accurate to how it’s been for me and my siblings. The way that Charmaine gradually goes from calling the alters an excuse to becoming understanding is.. A weird deep healing thing for me. I recommended my also possibly-probably-most likely multiple sibling to watch the show just for those episodes. I think it’s one of the many things I watch the show for comfort though.

There’s also that last scene in the last episode of season 2 where her husband Max, under the altar, declares that he’ll be what each and every part of her needs him to be for them from here out and I just 🥺 I’m sorry, this isn’t really part of the review, but it was a lot like the many loving binding promises words my fiance’s said to me and it made me tear up a little, okay?

As for the DID handling in this season, I’d say it was a good continuation from the first. They really delved into the topic from a knowledgeable perspective and no longer treated the audience like DID is a New and Special thing. I think the ‘burden feelings’ were less for this season as we moved into an actually healing arc. There was nothing fantastical or dramatized that wasn’t already in the first that I can recall.

Season 3. Oh boy. This is known as the horrible and bad season and I have to unfortunately agree. I believe the show was run by someone else at this point, and since there wasn’t a season 4, they had to cram a lot of finished ends where there wasn’t room for them.

I think Bryce is a bit more intense than other persecutor parts I’ve seen in media. I (sort-of) have an abuser introject and with my experience, even at his most intense down moments, the intent for how he behaves is still protective in nature. Can we make the argument with Bryce? Maybe? But I fail to see his protective motives, even if I pull back the layers of ‘these characters are just shit’ and ‘this is written to be an interesting tv show most of all’.

I think what they needed with season 3 was a season 4. More time to actually peel back their own layers and explore what it really means to be a persecutor part. It’s unfortunate that it got cut off so short and the actual answer to healing herself in the end was.. A suicide attempt and literally killing Bryce off. Which as we know, doesn’t work.

I think to cover up for the cut season, there was a lot of misinformation strewn in to the DID presentation. The alters were stripped back to be stereotypes again.

The only good thing from this season was probably the other character’s developments and one of the first episodes having a scene where all the Alters are coming together in co-consciousness.

Overall, I think United States of Tara takes a bit of unneeded flack. As being The Worst Show For DID. I don’t know yet if that’s true. I think a lot of it is down to it being one of those shows where everyone sucks, a bit like Sunny In Philadelphia. There is a lot of stigmatizing trash, sure, but when I take it with a little bit of salt, I come out really enjoying the show.

 What they got Right in my opinion:

-          No childhood trauma shown explicitly onscreen, no screaming or horror music for switches. You don’t know how much this shit bothers me

-          Multiple counts where misconceptions about DID are corrected and talked about openly. They refer to it as Dissociative Identity Disorder. Even if the characters aren’t getting it right, there are many points where a therapist has a stronger understanding of what’s going on(in the first season at least)

-          The parts relationships as they come together and the amnesia barriers lower. I’m really partial to Buck and Alice and how they’re shown to have some complexities behind being a part of a system. (I think T has some of this merit too, but they really do her dirty)

-          The subtle ways in which trauma effects the characters everyday lives and attachments. Tara struggles to have intimacy, Charmaine struggles to have a stable relationship. All of it is very rooted in trauma responses

-          Suppressing your disorder may look like it works for a little bit but it doesn’t, really.

-          Handling introjects and substitutes beliefs. Though I think Moon Knight did it a little better, it was nice that they went into this too.

-          That the lack of something important from a parent(love, stability, protection, ect) can also cause major trauma

-          -They had Gregory and the Hawk start off one of the episodes and I just hold that close to my heart, haha <3

What they got Wrong in my opinion:

-          Killing Alters off doesn’t mcfuckin work my dude

-          The whole ‘Host is the True Person’ narrative throughout. (Imo, no part is more important than the other, no part is a ‘hassle’ or a ‘burden’.)

-          Integration/fusion ‘gets rid’ of parts

-          Although they may feel like it, introjects of abusers are not actually abusers and shouldn’t be ‘killed off’ as a means of healing.

-          Just…Avoid season 3

Would I recommend this to someone with DID to watch?: Tentatively, yes. There may be more triggers than I listed. I really like the show myself because it’s like the junk food of DID content. Easy to watch and not all that good for you, probably

Just really keep in mind that ‘burdensome’ theme, it might get in your head too.